Cindy Safety - Time On My Hands

By Steve Bussiere

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I was out recently, when I ran into a few close friends.

They may never admit to being that, but I do, because honesty is the best policy. I know that's true because I read it somewhere.

It was the Annual Champions Kid's Camp Bar-B-Que Cookoff at Papa's.

Sandy was looking for judges for some of the events, and being a shrewd woman, she immediately found me. As I said, she is a wise woman and she knows that if she can find single guys, they will never pass up the opportunity to judge free food.

Well, I honestly wasn't surprised as she approached me to ask if I would help.

I have done the judging thing for the past several years and have judged a few categories which I am totally unqualified to share my opinion on.

But I get to eat free, and the finest part of it all is that I don't have to do any dishes.

Bachelor heaven, so to speak.

"So what are you going to sign up for this year Steve?" she inquired.

For the past few years I have judged Bloody Mary's. The breakfast of Champions perhaps, but I'm down to one liver and my brain is functioning a lot better now.

So I checked the list, in search of new horizons in my dining life.

"Desserts!" I said.

Bachelors, don't get dessert very often,, because very few pizza joints serve dessert, so it sounded like a sweet deal to this boy.

There is a secondary benefit to picking the dessert deal, because they don't do the dessert judging until the Bloody Mary liver sacrifice is over, so I got to sleep in a little later. And besides that, you can make sure that the Bloody Mary judges lived through the ordeal, which gives, in my mind, a firm indication that the cookers know their craft making the second sitting asafer experience.

Thinking about the safety factor, reminded me of Cindy.

She's a Safety person in one of the large facilities in the area, and she kind of cute for a girl too.

Safety people are a conservative breed, and most of them. Unfortunately, look more like Harold the Safety guy than Cindy the Safety Girl, which is an unfortunate situation for most industrial accident victims.

Then I thought to myself that I was very happy I didn't work in her facility, because I think I'd be involved in a whole lot of minor accident situations, of the non life threatening variety.

I sat at the judging table, thinking to myself that it was far too early in the day to be having impure thoughts, so I stopped thinking and started looking at the desserts.

That was when Cindy Safety walked in the door, and started that wrong type thinking thing all over again.

I was there to judge dessert. It was an important job.

A job to be performed safely.

As I opened the first container, I looked at something which appeared to be delicious.

So I looked back over at Cindy Safety, took a deep breath and tasted the first offering.

Cindy was seated with Rich, my Sole Brother. He of the blown out running shoe accident of last year.

I smiled.

Rich needs a safety girl in his life.

He's a bachelor as well, and then I wondered why he wasn't judging the desserts.

Then I looked at Cindy, and I realized that he had made the wiser choice.

I looked at offering number two.

It looked very sweet.

Then I looked at my Sole Brother with Cindy Safety.

He had a smile on his face.

I had a smile on my face.

Offering number two was sweet.

Safety Cindy was sweeter though.

Round Two went to my Sole Brother.

So did all of the other rounds.

I felt cheated, if it is possible to feel cheated after you have just tasted twelve of the best desserts you have ever had.

When it was over, I walked over and sat down with Cindy and my Sole Brother

I never realized that Rich was such a conscientious host.

He had obviously spared no expense in hosting the event. He had even brought in the best looking safety person in Texas to protect me.

I love America! Land of the Free and home of the Safe.

And then I began to wonder, for no important reason, what the heck Cindy was short for.

You should never think like that while you are on a sugar buzz.

My mind was a blank space, a black hole in the Bar-B-Que universe.

And then it came to me!

Cinderella!!!!!

That had to be it. There could be no other explanation in the Bar-B-Que universe.

I was witnessing a transfiguration!

Rich, my Sole Brother was in a safe place now!

He had his very own Safety Angel.

No Christmas Tree to perch her upon, but he had the Safety Angel that belongs on the tree, if he ever finds it!

Rich, the Sole Man, was now, at least in my warped vision, The Cinderella Man!

"Hey! Give me another piece of that Pumpkin Pie. Would ya?"

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