I Am Curious ... Yellow?

The "Un" Real Texas By Steve Bussiere, humorist

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It was horrible! It was terrifying! It was probably very distasteful as well. I'll let you know for certain, when I recover.

I recently found myself walking around the Super Wal-Mart. I normally avoid those types of places, because as Yogi Berra said about a restaurant, "Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded."

You could have fun in a place like that, if you liked playing catch the javelin in your youth.

They have almost as much stuff in that store as I have in my garage. They have food of all types. They have clothing for all three sexes. They have entertainment devices.

Gee whiz, the list goes on forever. I mean heck, you can get a haircut there. You can get your nails done, with three quarters of the population of Texas watching you.

Books, jewelry, garbage cans, (to dispose of the old worn out jewelry), dog food.

Yeah, dog food. Which made me think about the tainted dog food that came from China. Not the dishes, I checked and most of them are made in Britain. I think they called the dinnerware "China", to see if any of us noticed.

I read that the fellow who was in charge of the people responsible for killing people cats and dogs, was executed for his part in an international embarrassment to his homeland.

Well, I thought that perhaps that punishment may have been a touch severe. I mean I've seen Marvin Zindler, and it seems that there have been more than a few Chinese Restaurants which have been closed down for "kitty control", in the past.

It was somewhere around this point in time that I started really looking around in the super Wal-Mart. They have all of this merchandise, (excluding the food), and I began looking at the labels.

Almost all of it was manufactured outside of good ole U.S.A.

That was when I realized the symmetry of the world.

You can, thanks to the visionaries who run this gargantuan conglomerate, toss your old, used old jewelry, clothing, electronic accessories, and just about everything else from that store, into a trash bin, manufactured in China.

It's sort of a fitting homecoming for all of that stuff. There is something, which gently touches my heart, as I think of the funeral arrangements.

Heck, it almost makes me want to drape the trash can with a Chinese Flag, and play the Chinese National Anthem, and, as a sign of respect for their demise.

It was then that I had, what I figured was a brilliant idea. (uh huh, Steve).

We have a garbage problem here in the U.S.A., of immense magnitude.

Everybody seems to be shipping their garbage out of state, for landfill.

We could try getting the Chinese to take it, (or better still, buy it), but they only seem to want our scrap metal these days.

Homeland Security!

China has The Great Wall!

We don't have that, but we have something just as good!

We have ……….. GARBAGE!!! Which judging from Wal-Mart's sales numbers, is predominantly of Chinese origin.

That is when I thought about the illegal immigration problem.

We could take all of this Chinese garbage, and build our own, (some assembly required), Great Wall.

All that we need to do is pile the landfill trash about 40 feet high along the border. Keep the walls at an extreme angle, and pile dirt on top.

If the steep climb didn't stop the illegals, the smell alone would kill them.

Just imagine all of the tourists that would flock here to see it!

And then we could sell them garbage to take home as a momento! (Not like uno momento)!

And think of the message it sends to terrorists. "Don't trash America!"

The more I think of it, the more positives I can see!

If we build it, they will come. ….. Or not.

And then each state it covers could decorate it, whichever way they'd like. Just think about it! Bluebonnets in the Texas portion. Cacti in the Arizona sector. Dead, yet golden and sensitive, caring grass in the California section!

I don't know what they'd use in the New Mexico part, but perhaps they could try something with a Roswell flavor. Kind of the alien, native thing.

It would bring this country together.

Facilitate Homeland Security.

Help solve the illegal immigration problem.

Jeez, we could even put a huge statue of Sam Walton on top of it!

Yup! It'd be a Great Wall!